One of the Greatest Gifts Resonates Across Cultures
When I wrote The Invisible Toolbox after thirty years in the classroom, I never dreamed my little book, translated and repackaged, would find its way into the hands of a group of mothers halfway across the world in Turkey.
But as I learned last week, its message, that explains why reading aloud is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give, connects across cultures.
Mr. Nabi Avci, a teacher in Konya, Turkey, offered the mothers of his students a gift of his own. He recently led a book discussion group so they could learn how to support their children’s literacy development and love of learning.
Last week he reached out to me via Twitter/X and asked me to drop in on their afternoon meeting to say ‘hello’ via Zoom. That proved to be impossible as when I attempted to join, error code 1142 informed me that this meeting was ‘not accessible in the United States at this time.’
Since I was unable to join the group, I sent a video instead, and Mr. Nabi Avci emailed this report:
We learned much from your book. It was really helpful. Mothers in our group started reading aloud to their children.
He sent these wonderful photos too.
In the midst of the current turmoil in the world, I find it heartening to be reminded that people of good will, no matter their culture, love their children and want what is best for them.
Thank you, Mr. Nabi Avci, for celebrating literacy and for reaching out to me…from one teacher to another.
When I learned recently that my publisher was working on selling foreign rights to The Invisible Toolbox, I did a quick Google search and came across this image along with various links to sellers in a language I didn’t understand. Every now and then I’ll do that to see where the book is turning up or being sold. But this was a big surprise.
It was a thrill to see my book clothed in a new cover and translated into Turkish—like a grown child who’s moved out into the world and created a life of their own!
It’s also a lovely reminder that the message of The Invisible Toolbox is universal. A child’s need for a nurturing connection with their parent and a strong foundation in language and love of story is shared by all cultures.
Plus: How Reading to Your Child Literally Builds an Internal Infrastructure in the Brain that Becomes the Foundation for All Learning
Part Two of My Interview with Author Don Winn
We discuss how stories can be a sanctuary for your child and you, particularly during difficult times…and what it means to build your child’s “invisible toolbox.”
If you prefer to watch instead of read, scroll down to the full interview, “The Power of Stories During Difficult Times,” posted December 2020.
Book talk on THE INVISIBLE TOOLBOX is up for auction!
“Bid on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to bring acclaimed and engaging authors on virtual visits to all the places that readers gather in your life!
Look for opportunities for facilitated discussions, readings, workshops, and demonstrations by a remarkable collection of authors to enrich your next book club, family gathering, or loved one’s classroom!”
Words Alive, a San Diego literacy nonprofit, connects children, teens, and families to the power of reading.
In support of their important work promoting literacy, I’m thrilled to offer a book talk on The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence. Find out why reading to your child is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give.
Because my talk will take place over Zoom, anyone can bid via silent auction.
Bid now and throughout the month of October and enrich your book club, classroom, or parenting group with a book talk on The Invisible Toolbox. Learn why reading to your child is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give!
Over 40 authors and their work are represented this year in Words Alive’s annual fundraiser. I have to admit I’m fangeeking out a bit to be in such awesome company. Check them all out at the link below.
…”these kids learn younger than their peers that life means doing hard things.“
Some people become experts because they study their subjects, while others do so because of their lived experience. Don Winn comes by his expertise in dyslexia for both reasons.
I met Don when he contacted me for an interview about The Invisible Toolbox. Around this time he gifted me with a copy of his own book Raising a Child with Dyslexia. This clearly written, well researched parenting guide actually includes wonderful advice for all parents. But stories about his own struggles with dyslexia as a child piqued my curiosity as a teacher and made me want to understand more. How does someone whose needs were so painfully overlooked as a child—both emotionally and academically—manage to overcome them?
Don personifies the idea that it’s never too late to parent yourself. With the help of a few mentors along the way, he has not only faced the reality of his own learning and functioning differences, but has also become an inspiration and source of extraordinary knowledge, through his writing and speaking, for parents and children who deal with dyslexia.
In our conversation, you’ll learn about one of Don’s earliest mentors who he believes was the reason he was able to persevere through his dark days in elementary school. His grandmother who read to him filled his invisible toolbox with the understanding that reading and the wonderful closeness that comes from sharing books is worth the struggle. And so, Don Winn never gave up and gained what he believes is the superpower every dyslexic child has the potential to learn.
About Don Winn:
Don M. Winn is the award-winning children’s fiction author of the Sir Kaye the Boy Knight series of children’s chapter books and the Cardboard Box Adventures collection of thirteen picture books as well as the nonfiction book for parents and educators Raising a Child with Dyslexia: What Every Parent Needs to Know. As a dyslexia advocate and a dyslexic himself, he is fully committed to helping reluctant and struggling readers learn to love to read. Don frequently addresses parents and educators on how to maximize the value of shared reading time and how to help dyslexic and other struggling readers to learn to love to read. He’s published articles about dyslexia and reading in MD Monthly, the Costco Connection Magazine, TODAY Parenting, Fostering Families Today, and many others.
Can you explain what dyslexia is? Most of us think it has something to do with the reversal of letters that makes reading difficult. Is there more to it than that?
Oh, there’s so much more to it than that! Although first medically documented about 130 years ago, there are still a lot of misconceptions about dyslexia.
Dyslexia occurs when the brain develops and functions differently. It’s a neurological difficulty with decoding the written word, not an intelligence issue. The written word is a code that requires the brain to match seemingly meaningless marks on a page with the sounds we’ve heard from birth, and not all brains are structured or wired to do this effortlessly. Dyslexia is often hereditary, and rarely gets noticed until a child enters school and begins to struggle with literacy.
Experts estimate that approximately ten percent of the population is dyslexic. Most of these people never get diagnosed. Dyslexia can sometimes be difficult to diagnose because it varies so widely from person to person and can affect a broad spectrum of abilities. To complicate matters, dyslexia is actually a family of sibling conditions, and a person may experience any or all of the following conditions:
Dyscalculia: Trouble with math, numbers, sequencing, sense of direction, and time management.
Dysgraphia: Illegible handwriting or printing, incompletely written words or letters, poor planning of space when writing (running out of room on the page), strange contortions of body or hand position while writing, difficulty or inability to take notes (which requires thinking, listening, and writing simultaneously).
Dyspraxia of speech: Misspeaking words and/or halting speech. This aspect of dyslexia happens because the brain has problems planning to move the body parts (e.g., lips, jaw, tongue) needed for speech. The child knows what he or she wants to say, but his/her brain has difficulty coordinating the muscle movements necessary to say those words.
Dyspraxia: An issue that involves the whole brain, affecting movement. This can include gross (large) muscle movements and coordination as well as fine motor skills (pen grip, unclear hand dominance, trouble fastening clothes and tying shoes, difficulty writing on the line on paper). Dyspraxia can cause clumsy, accident-prone behavior due to proprioceptive challenges (ability to tell where the body is in space), trouble telling right from left, and erratic, impulsive, or distracted behavior.
All these difficulties are caused by structural brain differences that mean reading, writing, math, spelling, and more will never be automatic. A dyslexic person will never read or perform other affected tasks quickly. No matter how brilliant a dyslexic student may be, these tasks will always be laborious and will generally require extra time to complete.
You’re dyslexic yourself. When were you diagnosed? What was school like for you, and did your experience change after your diagnosis?
First of all, I am severely dyslexic and have three of its sibling conditions—dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and dyspraxia. I went to school in the sixties, when very little was known about dyslexia or how to help dyslexic students. I felt like a normal, happy kid until I entered first grade. But on the first day of first grade, my whole world collapsed into itself, and in the space of a seven-hour school day, everything changed for me. I simply could not figure out how to do the things the teacher asked me to do.
Memorizing the alphabet, that long sequence of 26 unrelated letters, plus their sounds; reading and writing my numbers; holding a pencil the way the teacher wanted me to hold it; following instructions that had multiple steps or those that involved telling my left from my right; and so much more felt impossible even though I was trying my very hardest. My brain struggled to make sense of the fact that everyone else in my class could do these things easily. I didn’t understand why I could not. I felt like a duck out of water—I didn’t belong, and I became very anxious. It was like everyone was moving at a fast-forward speed, and I couldn’t raise my hand and say, “Stop! Slow down! I don’t get this! I can’t keep up!” Deep inside, I knew that day that there was something very wrong with the way my brain worked and things went downhill from there.
Though I didn’t have the words to describe it at the time, I now realize that neither the speed with which information was presented nor the manner in which it was taught were good matches for my processing abilities. I flunked first grade. Partway through first grade (for the second time), a special ed teacher who had taken an extension course on dyslexia recognized my symptoms and suggested that I might be dyslexic.
Once I had the label, the only thing that changed was that I now spent an hour a day with the special ed teacher to work on reading. Unbeknownst to me, my parents, or the teachers in my life, I also had dysgraphia (trouble writing), dyscalculia (trouble with math, numbers, and learning/doing things in sequence), and some dyspraxia (trouble with coordination of muscle movements needed for multiple tasks). None of those issues were ever addressed, and they caused me a lot of stress.
That all sounds incredibly difficult. I imagine that coming to terms with a diagnosis of dyslexia both for oneself and one’s child—and also realizing you didn’t get the support you really needed— had to be quite an emotional journey. Can you tell us about that?
Over the years, the one thing that created the most difficulty for me was the lack of information leading to understanding, accepting, and coping with my dyslexia. My teachers never explained things to me, my parents never had a single discussion with me about what was going on or what we could do about it, and most importantly, there was no one I could talk to about my fears, feelings, and frustrations. About ten years ago, my wife and I made a project to understand dyslexia, learning all we could about current science, teaching methods, genetic involvement, and emotional and educational techniques that can help dyslexics cope with the fallout of their condition.
We took a huge leap forward in our quest at an early screening of the 2012 documentary The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia. I had never before seen such a comprehensive and relatable depiction of all the things I had been struggling with since first grade. Viewing this documentary had a profound impact on both myself and my wife. I finally understood myself in a way I never had before, and now realized that I had a tribe. And although my wife has a background in biochemistry, psychology, and genetics, before viewing the documentary, she was completely unaware of the breadth and scope of the effects of dyslexia.
That must have been hugely comforting. And now you’ve become a powerful advocate for dyslexic children and their parents.
As I started to better understand my own dyslexia and the reasons why I struggled throughout my school years and early adult life, I realized that most of my struggles could have been minimized with a proper understanding of dyslexia, ongoing support, and accommodation.
Just having the label is not enough. It’s a start, but children with dyslexia and their parents need to understand what that label means in terms of life impact. And most importantly, kids need social and emotional support to be able to show up for the hard work of learning and performing academically. Warm, loving, open communication is key. A child must have hope.
Much like the show, What Not To Wear, my life is a version of “How Not To Do Dyslexia.” I don’t want any child to struggle unnecessarily like I did.
When you consider your own and your son’s school experience, what kinds of support have teachers provided that were most helpful?
Really, the only support I ever received was from the special ed teacher in helping me to read. After that, I was basically on my own. I didn’t understand my dyslexia and I didn’t have any social and emotional support or accommodation. My parents’ divorce compounded this situation and then from 5th grade on, it seemed like I was constantly moving and starting at new schools, so my entire early education was anything but positive.
Our son got much better accommodation and help in school. The elementary school he attended was particularly good. It’s amazing what a difference a good counselor makes, and our son’s counselor took a personal interest. He would take the students who were struggling out of class when they were particularly stressed, and they all went outside and built birdhouses. It was a great way to defuse an escalating stress response, get centered, and recharge their batteries for the next educational task.
Does dealing with dyslexia get easier as an adult? How does it continue to affect you?
Accommodation and social and emotional support for dyslexia are just as important for an adult. Every task takes more time and that’s something that never changes. So planning my day, trying to minimize unexpected demands whenever possible, and good communication with my wife are so important. In fact, one of the most popular articles on my blog is one I co-wrote with my wife, called, “Living With an Adult With Dyslexia.” In that blog, my wife shares what she has learned about what works well for us.
Dyslexia continues to affect me with mental and even physical fatigue. I get lost easily, I struggle to keep track of things, and I face a constant demand for brain bandwidth that sometimes isn’t there when I need it for reading and writing.
In your book you mentioned several famous dyslexic people—Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Richard Branson, Leonardo da Vinci. How often does giftedness occur with dyslexia? Do dyslexics have any special inherent advantages or creative powers because of their learning differences?
Dyslexics have definite strengths, like seeing the big picture and outside-the-box thinking. They may also be very good at pattern recognition and spatial reasoning. However, every child is different and not all dyslexics have the same abilities. Some dyslexics may be gifted in special ways, but all dyslexics have the ability to develop great tenacity and grit. In fact, they have to. Because every required task demands exponentially more effort for a person with dyslexia than for a non-dyslexic, these kids learn younger than their peers that life means doing hard things. To me, this is the real superpower of dyslexia.
For example, my dyslexic grandniece wanted to enroll in a high school program that would allow her to graduate with an associate’s degree. In order to do this, she had to pass a test. It required several hours to take this test. But she really wanted to get into that program, and so she worked hard and took the test 9 times before she qualified. That’s the kind of grit I’m talking about. I’m so proud of her!
I just finished reading your book and so appreciated the way you slipped in stories from your own journey with dyslexia along with so much helpful information and advice on parenting dyslexic children. Your grandmother had a positive impact on you. Can you tell us about that?
Thank you! My paternal grandmother was the only person in my family who read to me. While we didn’t get to spend time together often, when I did get to sit in her lap and share books with her, I felt safe and loved. She read slowly and asked me lots of questions to help me think about what we were reading together. I didn’t feel stupid with her like I did at other times when faced with reading. There was never any pressure, only fun. And she was actually interested in hearing what I thought! As a result of those interactions, there was a tiny place in my brain that linked reading with pleasure, and most importantly, with meaningful human connection. That little ray of hope helped sustain me as I persevered year after year with my difficult reading tasks. To this day, the time I spent with my grandmother is one of my fondest memories.
Your grandmother gave you a powerful gift. What does your story about your grandmother have to say to us about what every child needs from a loving adult in their lives?
It’s not just about learning to read. Children need to feel loved and safe, and shared reading is the perfect format for creating that bond. During shared reading, a child feels loved, feels the benefits of enjoying a parent’s (or other person’s) complete attention, and feels seen and heard. An adult who chooses to spend time reading to a child says by their actions, “You matter to me. You are valuable. I want to spend time with you. I’m interested in your feelings and thoughts.” Nothing is more deeply nourishing to the soul of a young child, and a parent cannot go wrong by focusing on this important pursuit.
What’s your best piece of advice for any parent who is concerned that their child may have a learning issue?
Thankfully, there are early warning signs that savvy parents can watch for, starting in infancy. Some tests can provide diagnostically accurate results for children as young as eighteen months of age. I provide a comprehensive list of current testing methods, broken down by age group and diagnostic focus in my book, Raising a Child with Dyslexia: What Every Parent Needs to Know.
Additionally, all my dyslexia articles I’ve blogged about are available here: https://donwinn.blog/dyslexia-articles/. Educating yourself about dyslexia and the many ways it can show up is important. Discovering ways to provide ongoing social and emotional support and accommodation will optimize your child’s potential.
My biggest recommendation to all parents: read to your child from infancy on. Start now. Start where you are. You’ll be glad you did.
Where can parents and educators learn more about dyslexia and how can they connect with you?
My book, Raising a Child with Dyslexia: What Every Parent Needs to Know, offers a comprehensive approach to dealing with the challenges of dyslexia in the family and at school. Understanding the importance of early detection, testing, working with a child’s school, investigating possible behavioral issues, appreciating the role of social and emotional learning, recognizing the strengths of dyslexia, embracing advocacy, and much more is covered in this user-friendly guidebook. While the writing took me many months to complete, this book has been in the works for over 53 years—ever since I became aware of my own dyslexia and the needs it presents.
I’ve often wondered how my life and the lives of other dyslexics who did not receive adequate accommodation, support, and understanding would be different had we all gotten the help we needed during our most formative years. With the knowledge that’s available now, there is no reason why any child with dyslexia needs to experience this level of hardship ever again.
My website/blog is https://donwinn.com/, and you’ll find lots of information about my books and resources for teachers and parents there.
All of my children’s chapter books are available in softcover, hardcover, eBook, and audio and my picture books are available in softcover, hardcover, and eBook formats. Visit my Amazon author page for more information.
Did you know that The Invisible Toolbox is available on audio too? It’s not only a quick read, it’s a fast listen, too, at just two hours. Here’s what Adrian, the youth services librarian at the Westmont Public Library, has to say about it:
“You may have heard that it’s important to read aloud to your child from birth, but you may not have heard why…”
The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence is available on audio as well as paperback through these links:
Your baby has found their walking legs, and now—full of their own power and personal agency—sitting and looking at a book with you just doesn’t happen. They are on the move. Staying stationary and listening to a story? Yeah, right.
“I try to read to him, but he scoots off my lap and starts playing instead. Now what?”
This is a fairly common lament that I hear from parents, but it’s easily dealt with. Your little one doesn’t have to be on your lap or next to your side to benefit from your reading aloud to them. I’ll explain why in a moment and also share some tips for how to get around this.
But first, I want to remind you why it’s important to begin reading to your child from the beginning.
When you read to your baby you’re gifting them with tools they will use forever. One gift is that reading a story trains your child to pay attention. Some may balk at the word ‘train,’ but the fact is the ability to pay attention is a life skill that must be practiced in order to be learned. It happens, ideally, on the lap of a parent, and whether it’s taught—or not— will have long-ranging consequences for your child.
Along with learning to pay attention, your child also learns that being read to is a rewarding experience. You will have created buy-in for listening to a story and your child will likely eagerly look forward to it.
However, regardless of when you started reading to your child, there’s no need to worry when they won’t sit still for it.
Here are 3 simple tips for reading to that busy body:
1. Establish a read-aloud routine to match your child’s rhythm.
It’s easiest to encourage on-lap story time when your child’s energy level is not in high gear. When my son was a toddler we had two regular daily story times. Right after his bath and just before bedtime was perfect because he was already in wind-down mode. The other time was just after a nap when he was just re-awakening to the world. A bottle, a cuddle, a story or two, and then he was back in business.
2. Keep an eye out for a window of opportunity when you know your child needs a break.
You know as well as I do that there are moments when you’ve both just had it. When your little one is exhausted, but not yet ready for a nap—and you may be too. Grabbing a picture book or a book of nursery rhymes and settling down for a few minutes on the sofa or your favorite comfy chair may be just the thing to help them—and you—recharge. I always found these moments of downtime to be a welcome pause. Your child will too.
3. Read to that busy mover anyway.
Some children are simply wired to move more than others. Maybe your child simply won’t sit still long enough to listen to an entire story. No worries. They may prefer sitting on the floor playing with Thomas the Tank Engine. Let them be. Read to them anyway. They can hear you.
Here’s the secret to why reading to your child is beneficial, even if they aren’t sitting by your side or on your lap while you’re doing it. Your child will pick up on your feelings about what you’re doing. If you are enjoying the story—or at least the reading of it, and sometimes we really do have to work at that by having some fun doing voices—your child will absorb that. They will be listening to you even if they aren’t looking at the pictures. They may even circle back to check in and then return to their play a few times.
The key to reading to that active child of yours is simply to relax and have fun. Enjoy that story, regardless of whether you have a rapt audience sitting on your lap. Because if you do, you can be sure your little mover will too.
“It is never too late to parent yourself as well as your child.”
Once a parent understands that reading to their child is not just a good thing, but an essential thing that will enable them to reach their potential and bring great joy—fears and anxieties might emerge. A parent may wonder, how can I help my child fall in love with reading when I don’t love it myself? Where do I begin?
Excerpt from The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence:
Tool #1: Parent Yourself
“Parents who struggled with reading as children or who have never really discovered its pleasures for themselves may feel helpless or ill-equipped to lead. My advice to them is that this is not only your child’s golden opportunity to grow; this is your opportunity as well. One of parenting’s greatest benefits is having the chance to rework or recover experiences that we may have missed out on in our own childhoods. Do not misunderstand; I’m not promoting the type of vicarious living we see on the Little League field when overly aggressive parents relive their dreams of baseball glory through their children. The benefits I refer to have to do with the fact that when we raise children they open up new experiences to us through the worlds they are drawn to. This can happen with reading as well. If your experience with reading was difficult or unremarkable, doing right by your child gives you an opportunity to rework and overcome that. It is never too late to parent yourself as well as your child.”
Parents, you are not alone. There are tools and support out there for you to help you give your child the best possible start.
I was featured in the Authors Corner on Mango Publishing Group’s new website recently. Check it out! You’ll find out what I think about Distance Learning during COVID-19, actual vs. electronic books, and how to make sure your child keeps learning no matter what our future circumstances bring. Just follow the link below…
Kate Foster wears quite a few hats. Children’s author, editor, agent, blogger, and promoter of other writers. She lives in Australia now by way of a small village in the south east of England. I had the pleasure of chatting with her recently about my writing/teaching career and The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence.
