A Steady Point of Connection Between Parent and Child
“Because my mom and I have to toast our toes by the fire.”
My five year old pajama’d son, newly bathed, book tucked under his arm, had just come downstairs.
My old high school friend who was visiting had been politely asked to vacate the rocking chair by the fireplace where she’d settled herself after dinner and was a bit startled by his request.
She’d wanted to know why.
‘Toasting our toes by the fire’ was code for our nightly ritual of snuggling up in the rocker by the fireplace and reading together and my son was not about to let anything or anyone interfere with this. Our ritual was such a source of comfort and security for him that even the novelty of having overnight company paled next to this important routine. The warmth and closeness of cuddling together with a book at the end of a long day meant just as much to me.
This moment occurred during a very difficult time in our lives. My son’s father and I were going through a painful divorce.
When I look back on this time now I feel sadness for what we were both going through.
But I also feel tremendous gratitude that I was able to give my son this:
The gift of loving reading.
I know that whatever he encounters in his life, he will always have the gift of reading to return to as any of us who find pleasure in reading do.
The tools that we equip our children with that enable them to be prepared for and succeed in school are powerful reasons for us to read aloud to them.
But even more fundamental than the intellectual benefits are the emotional ones.
Reading aloud nurtures the parent-child connection. When reading aloud is part of a daily family routine, it provides a steady point of connection both parent and child can look forward to and count on. Practicing this daily ritual communicates not only that reading is important, but that the child is important. Snuggling and cuddling up together with a book creates a feeling of warmth and can even provide a bit of an oasis from daily pressures and burdens.
Parenting in the digital age is daunting. Mental health issues are on the rise for kids.
I believe, with every fiber of my being, in two things we can do to nurture our kids’ emotional well-being.
The first is to establish a daily read aloud ritual. It’s never too late if you haven’t already started.
The second is to delay giving your child their own tech device, whether phone or tablet, as long as you possibly can. A seemingly drastic move, I know. But by doing this you create space for them to turn first to a book when they’re looking for escape or down time.
As we begin to more fully grasp the impact that technology and social media is having on the mental health of our young, Tech Delay will become a choice more and more parents make.
Continuing daily read aloud time together even after your child begins to read independently will provide a steady point of connection you will always be grateful for.
Can you see that little Miss Hattie’s Invisible Toolbox is already under construction?
Its foundation is absolutely evident, no question about it:
Hattie understands that the joy of reading begins with *connection.*
She’s got all her favorite friends lined up to share the joy of reading with them, just as her parents—and maybe even her teachers or caregivers—have with her.
Not only can we see evidence of her Toolbox, it’s also clear that she’s already accumulated some very important *tools.*
These tools are priceless gifts that Hattie will carry with her when she enters kindergarten with a lunchbox in one hand, and her Invisible Toolbox in the other.
Which *Tools* Are Already Visible?
🔹An Attraction to Books
(Super helpful for a child to have this one under their belt upon arrival at school as having the motivation to learn to read is vastly underrated.)
🔹An Expanded Imagination and Intellectual Curiosity
(All children are born with the capacity for these qualities. But they only bloom when they are cultivated through reading and play. Which brings us to the next one…)
🔹The Ability to Find Joy—Anytime, Anywhere
(This might mean the joy of curling up with a book no matter where you are or what your circumstances. But it can also lead to exactly what Hattie is showing us here. Reading can actually inspire play in the real world. Didn’t my Trixie Belden mystery series inspire me to become a girl detective on the lookout for mysteries to solve in the neighborhood when I was ten??)
These are just THREE of the pre literacy tools that Hattie will carry with her when she begins school and is taught to read.
Based on this photo alone, I suspect there are many more in development…
From what I read online, teachers and literacy tutors and interventionists are working incredibly hard to build the content knowledge required to help their students improve their reading comprehension.
It’s one thing to learn to decode the words, but quite another to understand them.
Vocabulary and background knowledge are the foundation for comprehension.
Trust me, this is a heavy lift for teachers. It’s probably the most challenging aspect of teaching reading.
Why?
Because it’s a big wide world out there and there are a lot of words.
The more a child has been exposed to in terms of language, stories, and ideas when they come to school, the greater will be their ability to understand what they read when they are taught.
The most expedient way to help our children arrive at school “comprehension ready” is to read to them regularly from the beginning.
When we do this we inspire their curiosity which makes them hungry to know more about the big wide world and all the words.
And it makes reading comprehension a breeze. It really does.
Recent studies on the effects of speaking and reading to children in the preschool years confirm an important truth about where future literacy success begins.
A highly significant take-away is that poverty, lack of parental education, and even under-resourced schools, while they may be correlated statistically, are not necessarily the cause of poor literacy outcomes nor are they necessarily determinative.
This is very good news.
The more we learn about brain development in the first five years, the more obvious it is that those who care about children and literacy must focus our efforts on this period of life.
Last spring I titled my talk at the World Literacy Summit in Oxford “How the First Five Years Frame Future Literacy.”
Two studies published recently corroborated this claim.
Having spent decades teaching, I had reached this conclusion long ago. Most teachers understand that a child’s exposure to language and books before they ever set foot in kindergarten makes all the difference when they are eventually taught to read.
But research and studies are important too and difficult to ignore. So here they are.
How Do Infants and Toddlers Learn Language?
One study reported in Neuroscience News sampled over 1000 infants and toddlers from 12 countries speaking 43 languages to understand how language is learned.
They discovered that the amount of speech children hear is the “primary driver of language development.”
Not socioeconomics, or gender, or multilingualism.
In a nutshell, children who hear more speech, understand and produce more speech.
The take-away for parents? Talk to your babies.
Who Benefits from Information About Shared Reading and Access to Books?
Another study came from the IZA Institute of Labor Economics. Based in Bonn, Germany, IZA’s research mission is to “focus on understanding economic inequality, particularly the central role of labor markets and the psychological underpinnings of human behavior.”
We know that literacy outcomes have everything to do with a future skilled and employable labor force. This study aimed to discover how we can foster that.
The research team wanted to understand the impact of setting up a ‘randomized controlled trial’ of a shared book reading intervention targeting 4 year old children in socially mixed neighborhoods in Paris.
We selected a large, random sample of families and provided parents with free books, information on the benefits of SBR (shared book reading) and tips for effective reading practices.
The vocabulary of children in both treated and control groups were assessed both before and after the intervention.
Here is what they discovered:
Children from all families in the intervention group greatly increased their shared book reading frequency and improved their vocabulary.
The ‘low-educated and immigrant’ families improved their vocabulary as much as those from ‘high-educated, native families’.
Also significantly, continuous positive vocabulary growth occurred in disadvantaged families, despite the fact that these children often attended poorly resourced schools.
What Do These Studies Reveal About Where Literacy Begins?
Speaking and reading to young children before they begin school—regardless of their socioeconomic status, immigrant status, gender, level of parental education, or multilingualism—results in language and vocabulary development.
Since a child’s vocabulary is the number one predictor of school success, this is critically important to understand.
What these studies show is that if we want to have a real and lasting impact on literacy outcomes, we need to focus our attention and resources on parents and caregivers of children from infancy through the preschool years.
This is what will set all children up for success.
One of the Greatest Gifts Resonates Across Cultures
When I wrote The Invisible Toolbox after thirty years in the classroom, I never dreamed my little book, translated and repackaged, would find its way into the hands of a group of mothers halfway across the world in Turkey.
But as I learned last week, its message, that explains why reading aloud is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give, connects across cultures.
Mr. Nabi Avci, a teacher in Konya, Turkey, offered the mothers of his students a gift of his own. He recently led a book discussion group so they could learn how to support their children’s literacy development and love of learning.
Last week he reached out to me via Twitter/X and asked me to drop in on their afternoon meeting to say ‘hello’ via Zoom. That proved to be impossible as when I attempted to join, error code 1142 informed me that this meeting was ‘not accessible in the United States at this time.’
Since I was unable to join the group, I sent a video instead, and Mr. Nabi Avci emailed this report:
We learned much from your book. It was really helpful. Mothers in our group started reading aloud to their children.
He sent these wonderful photos too.
In the midst of the current turmoil in the world, I find it heartening to be reminded that people of good will, no matter their culture, love their children and want what is best for them.
Thank you, Mr. Nabi Avci, for celebrating literacy and for reaching out to me…from one teacher to another.
Inspire Your Child’s Love of Reading with an Advent Book Calendar
Colored lights, candy canes, Santa’s sleigh on the rooftop, and frosted window panes…
The magical holiday season is the perfect time to create lasting memories and nurture your little one’s—or not-so-little-one’s—warm feelings about and love of reading.
Seven month old Emma’s (pictured above) and 6 year old Aurora’s amazingly creative mom, Candace @ cknp0204, shared this great idea on Instagram recently.
Here’s how you can create a meaningful holiday tradition, foster your child’s sense of joy and anticipation through the season, AND inspire their love of stories with an Advent Book Calendar.
How to Create an Advent Book Calendar
Wrap 25 books, one for each day of Advent through the month of December, and display them under the Christmas tree.
Each day of the month, let your child choose one book out of the pile to unwrap and read with you.
You can add to the fun of this daily ritual by bringing out the cocoa or popping some popcorn and making it a family reading time.
Holiday themed books add to the excitement and provide the perfect opportunity to teach about your own family’s faith or traditions. Buying 25 new books in one sweep can get pricey, so feel free to wrap library books and just add a few of your own each year.
At the end of the season, put the books away or return them to the library.
When you wrap the same books for your Advent Book ritual the next year, your child will be surprised and delighted to discover these old friends that may feel new, yet familiar, all over again.
Special holiday books that reappear under the Christmas tree each year? That sounds pretty magical to me!
He doesn’t use the library much from what I can tell because he likes owning the books he reads.
Buying lots of books is an expensive proposition, so he has long been an avid used bookstore fan. He managed to find and read through Stephen King’s entire oeuvre—all 65—at a discount.
Not long ago, he gifted me with one of his finds: Mrs. Piggle Wiggle’s Farm.
It puzzled me. Why this book?
Was it a pristine first edition? Signed by the author perhaps? Or maybe an out of print, next to impossible to find treasure?
Nope.
Yellowed, stained, dog-eared, it’s obviously been pawed over by dozens of little chocolatey hands. In fact, you might feel the urge to wash yours after touching it.
In other words, it’s been read a lot and loved.
Still I wondered why he thought to give it to me.
The original Mrs. Piggle Wiggle was on my regular read aloud rotation each year when I taught third grade. Of all the books my son and I read together, though, I didn’t remember reading this one to him.
As it turns out, he did and thought I might enjoy a sequel.
The knowledge that he carries this memory warms my heart and makes me deeply happy.
It may not be pretty, but this shabby old much pored over volume is a treasure to me.
It sits on my bookshelf, a reminder that none of the moments we spend as parents snuggled up with our little one and a story are truly lost.
My own recall of what all we read together may have faded into the fog of long-ago days juggling work, carpools, homework, household chores, and the rest.
But I love the fact that his have not.
*****
Note: I did read Mrs. Piggle Wiggle’s Farm before I shelved it, and enjoyed it almost as much as the original. Wise and loving Mrs. Piggle Wiggle may have moved from her upside down house in town to the farm, but she’s still called upon by desperate parents who have no clue how to help break their offspring of their naughty habits.
If you don’t know these books, I would begin with the original Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. The Selfishness Cure, the Answer-Backer Cure, the Slow-Eater-Tiny-Bite-Taker-Cure, et al…all the “childhood maladies” are resolved so cleverly by Mrs. PW. Funny and oh so appealing to kids, this classic is still a must-read.
An Interview With a Very Special New Mom and Baby Leo
I had a wonderful time recently chatting about reading andThe Invisible Toolbox with the lovely and talented anchor and new mom Laura Hettiger on St. Louis’s CBS affiliate KMOV-TV’s new afternoon show My St. Louis LIVE!
Even though I’ve lived in far-away California for many years, I love staying connected with my lifelong hometown friends and happenings in this great historic city.
When I couldn’t go home to visit during COVID, I began watching KMOV’sGreat Day ExtraLivemorning segment online.
Last year Laura announced on the show that she was pregnant, and I knew she needed a copy of The Invisible Toolbox. Every new mom or dad does, you know.
I was thrilled when she got in touch after Leo’s birth to let me know that she’d read it twice (the second time aloud to him) and invited me to come onMy St. Louis LIVE! to discuss why every parent needs this information.
Practically newborn baby Leo (and furry pal Charlie) may not understand the words yet, but they do feel the love and attention from Mom when she reads aloud to them. This connection will become the foundation for Leo’s invisible toolbox, or, “the emerging internal infrastructure that will carry (him) into future learning and life.”
Thank you, Laura, for doing such an awesome job helping to get the word out about this important thing that parents need to know—-that reading aloud to your little one from the beginning is essential for their development, well-being, and readiness for school.
And thank you, baby Leo, for hanging with us even though you had to postpone your nap a little!
Laura posted this on Facebook after our interview:
What a treat getting to know St. Louis’s own Kim Jocelyn Dickson, the author of The Invisible Toolbox, on yesterday’s My St. Louis LIVE!
When I was pregnant with Baby Leo, Kim sent me a copy of her book. I read it while I was pregnant, then I read it out loud to Leo during my maternity leave. As I told Kim, things just “clicked” so much more when I was looking at Leo and reading to him.
And that’s the thing: reading to kids is so important!
During yesterday’s segment, Kim discussed why kids who have been read to already have so many tools in their toolbox once they start school.
I hope as my little Illini grows, our time reading together turns into a special time he looks forward to each day.
Thank you, Kim, for being part of My Mom Club! And to all the fellow new parents out there, grab a book, get comfy and enjoy that special time with your little one!
The Missing Tools That Make Reading Comprehension So Hard to Teach Directly
Why is reading comprehension so difficult to teach?
Because it’s predicated on three tools that are effortlessly gained when a child is read to, yet harder to achieve when they have to be consciously taught.
~A large and rich vocabulary
~A well-developed attention span
~Access to a wider world (what teachers call background of experience)
These tools are prerequisites for understanding what is read.
When a child arrives at school without them, learning to read and understanding what they read can be a Herculean challenge.
Teachers know this. And they work hard to build them.
But the sad reality is that 75% of children who begin school without these tools will never catch up.
A child can be spared this struggle so easily.
Just one picture book a day results in…
~Exposure to over a million words by kindergarten.
~A well-developed attention span.
~Background knowledge that helps them understand what they read.
Then reading comprehension follows. Easily.
For a quick audio review of The Invisible Toolbox by the youth services librarian of the Westmont Public Library, find it here.
That American children are struggling with reading has worked its way into the media conversation at last. It’s about time.
First came the “news” that the 2021 post-Covid NAEP (our nation’s report card) reading scores for 4th and 8th graders dropped for the first time in decades:
Nearly two thirds of our students don’t read proficiently!
What wasn’t reported is the fact that nearly this same percentage has been the case for some time.
Then in the fall of 2022, Emily Hanford’s “Sold a Story” podcast recast the eternal Reading Wars. This time, the opposing camps are Lucy Calkins’ Balanced Literacy vs. the Science of Reading. Lucy Calkins’ curriculum did not come out well in this. The media blew up over it, and various states have banned Balanced Literacy’s 3-cueing strategy for figuring out unknown words and poured money into retraining teachers in the Science of Reading, aka Structured Reading, with its heavy emphasis on systematic phonics instruction.
I couldn’t help wondering. Are there really primary teachers who—no matter what curriculum they use—don’t teach phonics? How in the world can you not in the teaching of beginning reading?
The next big thing that made news and drew the attention of the world beyond education insiders was the release of the film “The Right to Read” on Juneteenth of 2023. Promoted by LeVar Burton of Reading Rainbow fame, its aim is to shine a light on the literacy crisis as a symptom of societal injustice and to promote the Science of Reading as the solution and path to equity.
Two things about all of this are especially important.
First is the acknowledgment that we actually have a literacy crisis. When 65% of our 4th and 8th graders don’t read proficiently, that’s a problem. Reading well is foundational for all learning and has lifelong implications for individuals as well as society.
According to the United States Department of Justice, “The link between academic failure and delinquency, violence, and crime is welded to reading failure.” Over 70% of inmates in America’s prisons cannot read above a fourth grade level.
The second good thing is we’re taking a hard look at how reading is taught.
The reality is that college teacher training programs don’t actually teach prospective teachers how to teach reading. New teachers learn on the job, and what they learn is generally determined by what is gleaned from colleagues and the curriculum that the school adopts.
It can take several years of experience in the classroom for teachers to understand that effective reading instruction involves many essential threads. The wholistic approach and appreciation of literature that Balanced Literacy celebrates and the systematic direct instruction promoted by the Science of Reading are both necessary in good teaching.
Excellent teaching and fundamentally sound comprehensive reading curriculum are extremely important.
“Our bigger problem now is Johnny doesn’t read.”
But here’s the thing.
If a student is well taught and yet does not read outside of classroom instruction, it’s unlikely that student will become a proficient reader.
Like any skill, the practice of reading matters when it comes to mastery.
In many cases, it’s not that “Johnny can’t read.” Our bigger problem now is Johnny doesn’t read.
Yes, technology has a huge part to play in this, but we’ll leave that for another discussion.
What I will do is remind you how children become motivated to choose to read. Parents and teachers both have important roles to play here.
Let’s start with parents who, I would argue, have the most critical role. I’ve written about this inThe Invisible Toolbox, explaining in as concise and direct a way as possible, how reading from birth affects a child’s development and future readiness for school.
Repeated exposure to books is a bedrock foundation for future reading for pleasure and makes the road ahead much smoother for a child.
“While it’s ideal to begin reading to your child from the get-go, if you haven’t, it’s not too late.”
Up until adolescence, generally speaking, children—even if they don’t appear to—crave the time and attention of their parents, so it is possible to begin a nightly read aloud habit even with older children. They may balk a bit at first, but if you choose a great book to share, that should quickly dissipate.
While it’s ideal to begin reading to your child from the get-go, if you haven’t, it’s not too late.
Which brings me to the next thing parents can do. Visit the place where you can borrow books—for free! Your local library. Do this together and do it regularly. Help your child get their own library card and choose their own books.
While you’re at the library, pick out some books for yourself. Let your child see you reading. Talk about books, yours and theirs.
Set clear boundaries for technology and enforce them.
Encourage your child’s daily reading habit. Make sure there is space in their day or evening for it.
Once you’ve done this for a while, your child may begin to choose to read themselves. Eventually, they may find their homework goes more quickly, becomes easier for them. Their grades even improve! This is the time to gently make the connection for them.
“I’ve noticed that all this reading for fun you’ve been doing, seems to be making school more interesting for you…” Then take them to the nearest bookstore or second hand shop and let them buy a book to celebrate.
“Teachers have an important role here too in supporting reading for pleasure.”
Teachers have an important role here too in supporting reading for pleasure.
Make sure that you teach great books that you love as much as they will. Your genuine enthusiasm and interest matter if you wantthem to engage.
Also, be sure to provide opportunities for students to choose their own books.
When I taught fifth grade literature, I required students to choose a book a month within a particular genre and create a project after reading it. This assignment provided for both accountability and choice. It also ensured their exposure to various genres they might not choose on their own. For instance, a student who reads nothing but fantasy books might discover they enjoy historical fiction too.
At the end of the school year, students often reported this monthly book report activity as one of their favorite things. Kids love hands on projects. They often discovered an interest in genres they’d never explored before.
Another thing teachers can do is to actually talk to kids about the importance of reading, explaining why and how it makes a difference in their schooling and lives.
A teacher can also help students make the connection between their choices and the outcomes.
At the end of each trimester, my literature students took an Accelerated Reader standardized achievement test. The results showed their growth throughout the year, their independent reading levels, and also indicated how they performed compared to students that the test was normed on in their age group.
With my fifth graders, I always shared these scores with them–privately, of course. I explained how standardized tests work and how the choices they make, even outside of the classroom, affect their scores.
As their awareness grew as the year progressed, it was interesting to see how students who previously hadn’t paid attention began to care. Once they understood how the tests actually functioned and how the choices they made—and believe me, they knew what they were—actually showed up in an objective way, it was empowering for them.
This student report indicates a leap from the 27th percentile to the 73rd, quite a jump even when factoring in possible summer slide to account for the low beginning of the year score. The intervention included a chat with a parent who didn’t realize two hours of gaming each school night was an issue. Video games were moved to weekends only, homework began to be turned in, and the student reported to me that “Now, when I’m bored, I read.”
For teachers, facilitating students’ awareness and encouraging their agency in making good choices about choosing to read go hand in hand with teaching the skills and helping students find pleasure in reading.
The last thing I’ll mention that I recommend teachers do is something I would do at the beginning of each school year when parents came to meet me at Back to School Night.
I talked to parents about the importance of their child reading for pleasure outside of the classroom.
I encouraged parents—even my fifth graders’ parents whose children were already independent readers—to read aloud to them and enjoy books together. I reminded them that adolescence was around the corner and that reading aloud together during this time in their child’s life was a wonderful way to connect and nurture their bond in preparation for the days ahead when peers become ever more important.
At the end of one school year, one of the mothers sought me out to tell me that she’d taken my suggestion with her two sons, one a fifth grader, the other a seventh grader. She created a family read aloud ritual that school year and the boys loved it.
Her sons were already voracious readers for pleasure, so her aim wasn’t about helping them find their way down that road. It was about connection through creating space for family time together and sharing the pleasure of a good book.
When it comes right down to it, isn’t that what reading for pleasure is all about?
A child who reads for pleasure will not only have the tools and skills they need for school and beyond, they’ll have a habit that the English novelist Anthony Trollope once said “…lasts when all other recreations are gone. It will last until your death. It will make your hours pleasant to you as long as you live.”
