A Steady Point of Connection Between Parent and Child
“Because my mom and I have to toast our toes by the fire.”
My five year old pajama’d son, newly bathed, book tucked under his arm, had just come downstairs.
My old high school friend who was visiting had been politely asked to vacate the rocking chair by the fireplace where she’d settled herself after dinner and was a bit startled by his request.
She’d wanted to know why.
‘Toasting our toes by the fire’ was code for our nightly ritual of snuggling up in the rocker by the fireplace and reading together and my son was not about to let anything or anyone interfere with this. Our ritual was such a source of comfort and security for him that even the novelty of having overnight company paled next to this important routine. The warmth and closeness of cuddling together with a book at the end of a long day meant just as much to me.
The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence
This moment occurred during a very difficult time in our lives. My son’s father and I were going through a painful divorce.
When I look back on this time now I feel sadness for what we were both going through.
But I also feel tremendous gratitude that I was able to give my son this:
The gift of loving reading.
I know that whatever he encounters in his life, he will always have the gift of reading to return to as any of us who find pleasure in reading do.
The tools that we equip our children with that enable them to be prepared for and succeed in school are powerful reasons for us to read aloud to them.
But even more fundamental than the intellectual benefits are the emotional ones.
Reading aloud nurtures the parent-child connection. When reading aloud is part of a daily family routine, it provides a steady point of connection both parent and child can look forward to and count on. Practicing this daily ritual communicates not only that reading is important, but that the child is important. Snuggling and cuddling up together with a book creates a feeling of warmth and can even provide a bit of an oasis from daily pressures and burdens.
The Invisible Toolbox: The Power of Reading to Your Child from Birth to Adolescence
Parenting in the digital age is daunting. Mental health issues are on the rise for kids.
I believe, with every fiber of my being, in two things we can do to nurture our kids’ emotional well-being.
The first is to establish a daily read aloud ritual. It’s never too late if you haven’t already started.
The second is to delay giving your child their own tech device, whether phone or tablet, as long as you possibly can. A seemingly drastic move, I know. But by doing this you create space for them to turn first to a book when they’re looking for escape or down time.
As we begin to more fully grasp the impact that technology and social media is having on the mental health of our young, Tech Delay will become a choice more and more parents make.
Continuing daily read aloud time together even after your child begins to read independently will provide a steady point of connection you will always be grateful for.